Nothing to See Here Folks

Tylenol just sold for nearly $49 billion. Forty-nine. Billion. Dollars. And we're supposed to believe it's just another day in corporate America. You can't piss on our backs and tell us it's raining. The timing here is very suspicious. Just weeks after President Trump and HHS Secretary RFK Jr. sounded alarm bells about potential neurodevelopment risks linked to acetaminophen, Kimberly-Clark swoops in and buys Kenvue Inc.—the parent company of Tylenol—in one of the largest corporate takeovers in history. If you listen closely enough, you might hear the PR teams whispering, "Quick, change the narrative before anyone connects the dots."

Then, consider this: the State of Texas filed a lawsuit alleging that Johnson & Johnson (and by extension Kenvue Inc.) knew for decades that acetaminophen—the active ingredient in Tylenol—posed risks of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) when taken during pregnancy, yet failed to warn consumers. The suit also claims that Johnson & Johnson fraudulently transferred its Tylenol liabilities to Kenvue to protect itself from future damages.

When powerful corporations shuffle billions of dollars around after the narrative shifts, trust me, it's not making more money. It's about protecting the money they already have. It's liability insurance.

Tylenol is one of the most iconic household products in American history. It is also one of the most litigated. Decades of lawsuits over liver toxicity, products that caused Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, and now, emerging concerns over autism and ADHD have built pressure within the company. Then, as public skepticism grows, the company changes hands. Like a David Blaine magic trick. Convenient how that works, isn't it?

RFK Jr. has since clarified, not walk back, his claims about products like Tylenol. "We've all said from the beginning that the causative association between Tylenol given in pregnancy … is not sufficient to say it definitely caused autism, but it is very suggestive." Not sufficient, but suggestive.

This is the tried-and-true playbook for corporate cleanups. Mergers, acquisitions, rebranding. Change the letterhead, pass off the liability, maybe issue a statement prepared by a well-paid lawyer, and "voila," you're in the clear, for now. Meanwhile, the executives cash out, the lawyers bury the evidence in fine print, and the media nods along like the obedient bobbleheads that they are.

Now, I do not believe this merger materialized recently. This has been a work in progress for some time. The leaders of these corporations saw the writing on the wall on November 5, 2024. They saw who Trump wanted to bring into his administration and started mapping out an escape route.

Kimberly-Clark—a paper-products conglomerate—now owns the maker of Tylenol. The company known for Kleenex, Huggies, and Band-Aids now controls one of the most controversial over-the-counter drugs in the world. Should we make anything of that? Perhaps. From diapers to change your newborn to pain meds that could damage your liver and kill you (allegedly), Kimberly-Clark has got you covered from the cradle to the grave!

In all seriousness, though, the mainstream media outlets tell us this is just another quid pro quo business transaction. "Executives from both companies said the combined entity would serve people 'at every stage of life' and benefit from Kenvue's relationships with dermatologists, dentists, pediatricians and other healthcare professionals," writes a reporter from NPR. (Serve people at every stage of life. From the cradle to the grave. Same thing!)

Don't be naive: corporations don't do morality. They do math. They do damage control. All parties involved here do not care about claims of autism or ADHD risks, liver damage, or any other potential side effects from their products. They care about dollars and optics. And if history is any guide, in a couple of years, the media and the public will have moved on to the latest political or Hollywood scandal. The new owners will repackage Tylenol with a new logo, a fresh slogan, and a series of LGBT-LMNOP-inclusive commercials.

Nothing to see here, folks.

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