When Is Chip Gaines Going To Eat A Snickers Bar and Turn Back Into Riley Gaines?

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Written By Vincent Williams
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Why is Snickers the highest-selling candy bar in the world?

Is it because it's the perfect combination of peanuts, caramel, nougat, and chocolate? Is it because it can be enjoyed during any occasion or holiday? Or maybe because it dodges controversy, unlike Big League Chew or Pascall's Eskimo Candies?

No, no, and no.

The reason Snickers is so popular is because it snaps people back to reality. Snickers isn't just a snack. It doubles as a societal reset button. One bite and you're no longer acting like Betty White on a football field.

One bite and you avoid crashing out with the ladies.

OK. I have an idea. Let's give Chip Gaines a Snickers bar so he can turn back into Riley Gaines.

Chip and his wife Joanna are evangelical reality television stars. Their claim to fame was the HGTV show Fixer Upper, where the couple presented potential homebuyers with three possible homes in the Waco, Texas area, each needing varying levels of rehab. Joanna acted as the home designer, while Chip served as the lead contractor. It was a mildly entertaining show. I remember binge-watching a few seasons of it years ago.

Now, Chip and Joanna have their own network, Magnolia. In collaboration with HBO, the network is making headlines with its newest show, Back to the Frontier. Several families trade modern conveniences to live like homesteaders in the 1800s. No phones, no television, no Uber Eats, no refrigeration, no A/C, nothing. Just their hands, their minds, sunlight, and the wilderness (and TV cameras, and a film crew, and makeup). Among the families featured in the pilot was a gay couple, Jason Hanna and Joe Riggs, along with their 10-year-old surrogacy-born boys.

Now, a reasonable Christian, who has gotten through the first few chapters of the first book of The Bible, might ask why a show produced by two of the most publicly visible Christians on television is showcasing a gay couple. Not because reasonable Christians hate gay people, but because reasonable Christians take God's word seriously. That's exactly what many reasonable Christians were wondering. Here's the answer they received from good ol' Christian Chip:

"Talk, ask [questions], listen.. maybe even learn. Too much to ask of modern American Christian culture. Judge 1st, understand later/never

It's a sad sunday when 'non believers' have never been confronted with hate or vitriol until they are introduced to a modern American Christian"

And just like that, the call to righteous discernment became a PR message for niceness, lack of judgment, and radical tolerance.

There are over 750,000 words in The Bible (slightly more or less depending on the version), and modern Christianity has boiled it down to 8: be nice; don't judge anyone, ever; tolerate everything. These are the false virtues of modern Christianity.

Be nice. There are plenty of chapters that can be interpreted to mean "be nice" in contemporary terms. Romans 12, for instance. But consider the fact that the word nice is nowhere to be found in The Bible. Nice originated from a Latin word meaning "ignorant" or "unaware." Later, it was adopted into 14th-century French vernacular as a derogatory insult, used to characterize someone as "stupid" or "foolish." Gives you a whole new perspective on the phrase "nice guys finish last," doesn't it? Being nice, at least in the contemporary sense, is not a commandment from our Lord and Savior. If anything, being nice is condemned: "A wise heart accepts commands, but foolish lips will be destroyed." (Proverbs 10:8)

Don't judge. God calls on us to judge. Yes, the words "do not judge" are in Matthew 7:1. "Do not judge, so that you won't be judged." But keep reading. Matthew 7:3-5: "Why do you look at the splinter in your brother's eye but don't notice the beam of wood in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the splinter out of your eye,' and look, there's a beam of wood in your own eye? Hypocrite! First take the beam of wood out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother's eye." That's telling us not to avoid judging others, but to avoid judging others hypocritically.

Pastor David Guzik says in his commentary on the book of Matthew, "Jesus commanded us to know ourselves and others by the fruit of their life, and some sort of assessment is necessary for that. The Christian is called to show unconditional love, but the Christian is not called to unconditional approval. So while this does not prohibit examining the lives of others, it certainly prohibits doing it in the spirit it is often done."

For instance, if I mocked musician Jelly Roll's weight, I'd be a hypocrite.

Jesus also says in John 7:24 to "Stop judging according to outward appearances; rather judge according to righteous judgment." We should judge others based on biblical standards, not worldly ones.

Furthermore, if God did not want his children to judge, there wouldn't be people in our government called Judges. Wise judgment is necessary to uphold a just and safe society. As we have gotten away from judgment, criminals are free to roam the streets, evil is tolerated in the name of love, and our justice system has been turned upside-down.

And then there's tolerance. Tolerate everything. As Pastor Guzik said, Christians are not called to widespread approval of everything. A Christian is not called to accept homosexuality, abortion (which is murder), theft, fraud, or any other sin. We are to tolerate things that have no moral significance, like the color of your neighbor's car, or the size of your neighbor's nose, or the color of your neighbor's skin. But tolerating wickedness, whether it be your neighbor's or your own, is Satan's work. In many ways, our tolerance of sin is more sinful than the initial sin.

Chip Gaines is tacitly tolerating homosexuality and homosexual adoption. He should know better. Riley Gaines does. The former University of Kentucky swimmer (no relation to Chip and Joanna) would not accept a man named Will Thomas changing his name to Lia, competing against women in swimming competitions, and breaking records.

When Chip Gaines scolds modern American Christians, he's really scolding the man in the mirror. He is the one exhibiting hatred and vitriol—the hatred of God's Word. Maybe Chip isn't hateful. I'd bet he's probably not. Maybe he's just hungry—for affirmation, for applause, for money, or maybe just for sugar. In that case, give him a Snickers—and a Bible. One will quiet the hunger in his stomach. The other will quiet his hunger for false Christian virtues.

 
Vincent Williams

Christian, Founder and Chief Editor of Critic at Extra Large, an American, former radio personality, former Music Director, likes mint-flavored Oreos

https://twitter.com/VinWilliams28
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