WNBA's Toy Story

SportsSociety

Aug 9

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English writer Horace Walpole wrote in a letter in 1769, "The world is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think." Well, if you find the WNBA's dildo dilemma hilarious, then congratulations, you're a thinker!

Lime green dildos have been thrown onto WNBA courts multiple times over the last couple of weeks. (Just in case you live under a rock or in an Amish community and don't know what a dildo is: it is a sex toy shaped like a penis. You're welcome.)

The first time was on July 29 during a Golden State Valkyries vs. Atlanta Dream game. After the game, Cecilia Zandalasini of the Valkyries said, "I mean, first of all, it was super dangerous. And then when we found out what it was, I guess we just started laughing. I've never seen anything like that." The second time was August 2, when the Valkyries faced the Chicago Sky. When asked about the incident in a postgame press conference, Sky Center Elizabeth Williams quipped, "It's super disrespectful. I don't really get the point of it. It's really immature. Whoever is doing it needs to grow up." Most recently, this past Tuesday (August 5), Indiana Fever's Sophie Cunningham was hit by a rubber phallus.

SOPHIE CUNNINGHAM GOT HIT BY A DILDO 😭 pic.twitter.com/WVW9DaAalu
— BricksCenter (@BricksCenter) August 6, 2025

Who's behind the barrage of rubber love rods being thrown on the court? Green Dildo Coin, a cryptocurrency launched on July 28. According to USA Today, the group's anonymous spokesman said the lighthearted prank was supposed to bring attention to the "toxic environment" of the crypto world.

"We didn't do this because like we dislike women's sports or, like, some of the narratives that are trending right now are ridiculous."

"Creating disruption at games is like, it happens in every single sport, right? We've seen it in the NFL, we've seen it in hockey, you know . . . fans doing random things to more or less create attention."

Mission accomplished.

But why didn't the mysterious crypto guys throw dildos during a baseball game? Or a pro wrestling event? It's because the WNBA puts its lewd sexual identity politics on full display. The MLB or the WWE does not purposely alienate traditional sports fans (well, maybe MLB sometimes, but for entirely different reasons). Every green dildo thrown during a WNBA game represents millions of dissatisfied sports fans who don't want to be shamed, guilt-tripped, or lectured about some progressive cause. It is a crude, albeit misguided, protest against the WNBA and, by proxy, the NBA. I can see something like this coming to an NBA arena this fall.

The Green Dildo Coin guys did the stunt to highlight issues in the crypto world, but, in doing so, they tapped into a pertinent issue in the sports world: leagues forcing progressive political marketing campaigns down their audience's throats (pause).

As part of a deliberate marketing strategy, the WNBA has spent years aggressively promoting a progressive social agenda. "For us it's a celebration of diversity and inclusion and recognition of an audience that has been with us very passionately," then-WNBA President Laurel Richie said in 2014. (Pop Quiz: Who was the President back then? Here's the answer.) Nearly 40% of the league's players openly identify as LGBTQ+, and the league has become a platform for pushing political narratives rather than focusing on basketball. Players parade their personal lives on red carpets, and the league's leadership openly embraces "diversity and inclusion" as a euphemism for pushing sexual politics. The NBA bankrolls this venture, knowing full well the WNBA has been in the red for nearly three decades. The WNBA's "success" is not measured by ratings or profits but by how well it can serve as a mouthpiece for progressive causes and social conditioning.

I get why WNBA players would be annoyed and worried about fans throwing objects on the court. Today, it's neon green dildos. Tomorrow, it could be something far more injurious. But when you step back and think about the context, the absurdity of it all is obvious—and, dare I say, comical.

The WNBA's dildo saga is a tragicomedy. When people, companies, or sports leagues impose unwanted agendas on the public, individuals have the right to push back. And in a dark, twisted way, Green Dildo Coin did just that. Cue the laugh track.