Today, we basically get our identities from our Amazon carts. Seriously, when did a water tumbler become a personality? We treat identity like it’s something that can be purchased and delivered to our doorstep.

The title of this piece sounds hyperbolic. Trust me, it's not. Magic City Monday is shaping up to be the Super Bowl of the Sexual Olympics. All the pimps, prostitutes, and pedophiles will show up and show out.